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A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

A  Play  i  n  On  e  Act 

BY 

LORD  DUNSANY 


THE  SUNWISE  TURN,  Inc. 

2  EAST  31  ST  STREET  NEW  YORK 
1916 


•  t 


COPTBIGHT,  1916,  BT 

THE  SUNWISE  TURN,  INC. 

ALL  BIGHTS  BESEBVED 


The  professional  and  amateur  stage  rights  on  this  play  are 
strictly  reserved  by  the  author.  Applications  for  permission 
to  produce  the  play  should  be  made  to  The  Neighborhood 
Playhouse,  466  Grand  Street,  New  York. 

Any  infringement  of  the  author's  rights  will  be  punished 
by  the  penalties  imposed  under  the  United  States  Revised 
Statutes,  Title  60,  Chapter  3. 


THE  DRAWING  ON  THE  COVEB  13  FH<  >M 
A  BILVEB  SEAL  CUT  BY  LOBD  DDN8ANT 


2nd  Printing 

3  S 


DRAMATIS  PERSONS 

A.  E.  SooTT-FoBTEsguE  (The  Toff), 

A  dUapidati  d  <l>  nih  man 
£++  William  Jones  (Bill) 

ScJu        Albert  Thomas  Y merchant sailort 

Jacob  Smith  (Sniggers) J 

First  Priest  of  Klesh 
Seeoiid  Priest  of  Klesh 
Third  Priest  of  Klesh 
Klesh 


1 


■ 


A  NIGHT  AT  AX  INN 

Tii  curtain  rises  on  a  room  in  an  inn. 
Sniggers  and  Bill  an   talking,  th>    I  •■ 
reading  a  paper.  Albert  tits  a  UttU  apart. 

Sniggers 

What's  his  idea,  I  wonder? 

Bill 
I  don't  know. 

Sxiggk: 

And  how  much  longer  will  he  keep   us 
here? 

Bill 
We've  heni  here  three  days. 

Sniggers 
And    aven't  seen  a  soul. 

Bill 

And  a  pretty  penny  it  eost  us  when  he 
rented  the  pub. 

Sniggbbs 

\ >w  long  di<l  '••  nut  the  pub  ' 

1 


2  A    NIGHT    AT    A.\    INN 

BlLL 

Yoq   never  know   with   him. 

Snigcd 
It 's  lonely  enough. 

Bill 

'( )w  long  did  you  rent  the  pub  for, 
Tony  | 

(The  Toff  continues  to  read  a  sport- 
ing paper;  he  takes  no  notice  of 
what  is  said.) 

Sniggers 
'E's  such  a  toff. 

Bill 

Yet  Vs  clever,  no  mistake. 

Sniggers 

Those  clever  ones  are  the  beggars  to 
make  a  muddle.  Their  plana  are  clever 
enough,  bu1  they  don't  work,  and  then  they 
make  a  mess  of  things  much  worse  than 
you  or  me. 

Bill 

Al.! 

Sniggers 

I   don  '1   like  this  place. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AX   I\.\  3 

Bill 

Why  not? 

Sniggers 

I  don't  like  the  looks  of  it. 

Bill 

He's  keeping  us  here  because  here  those 
niggers  can't  find  us.  The  three  heathen 
priests  what  was  looking  for  us  so.  But 
we  want  to   go   and  sell   our  ruby  soon. 

Albert 
There's  no  sense  in  it. 

Bill 
Why  not,  Albert? 

Albert 

Because  I  gave  those  black  devils  the 
slip  in  Hull. 

Bill 

You  give  'em  the  slip,  Albert? 

Albert 

The  slip,  all  three  of  them.  The  fel- 
lows with  the  gold  spots  on  their  fore- 
heads. I  had  the  ruby  then  and  I  give 
them  the  slip  in  Hull. 


4  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  IXN 

Bill 
How  did  you  do  it.  Albert? 

Albert 

I  had  the  ruby  and  they  were  following 
me.  .  .  . 

Kill 

Who  told  them  you  had  the  ruby?  You 
didn't  show  it. 

Albert 

No.  .  .  .  But  they  kind  of  know.! 

Sniggers 
They  kind  of  know,  Albert? 

Albert 

Yes,  they  know  if  you've  got  it.  Well, 
they  sort  of  mouehed  after  me,  and  I  tells 
a  policeman  and  he  says,  O,  they  were  only 
three  poor  niggers  and  they  wouldn't  hurt 
me.  Ugh!  When  I  thought  of  what  they 
did  in  Malta  to  poor  old  Jim. 

Bill 

Yes,  and  to  George  in  Bombay  before 
we  started. 

Sniggers 
[Jffh! 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  5 

Bill 
Why  didn't  you  give  'em  in  charge? 

Albert 
What  about  the  ruby,  Bill? 

Bill 
\  Ah! 

Albert 

Well,  I  did  better  than  that.  I  walks 
up  and  down  through  Hull.  I  walks  slow 
enough.  And  then  I  turns  a  corner  and  I 
runs.  I  never  sees  a  corner  but  I  turns 
it.  But  sometimes  I  let  a  corner  pass  just 
to  fool  them.  I  twists  about  like  a  hare. 
Then  I  sits  down  and  waits.     No  priests. 

Sniggers 
What? 

Albert 

No  heathen  black  devils  with  gold  spots 
on  their  face.     I  give   'em  the  slip. 

Bill 
Well  done,  Albert ! 

Sniggers 

{After  a  sigh  of  content.) 
Why  didn  't  you  tell  us  ? 


6  A   NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

A  I  I5ERT 

'Cause  '•'  won't  l«-t  yon  speak.  'E's  got 
"is  plans  and  V  thinks  we're  silly  folk. 
Things  must  be  done  is  way.  And  all 
the  time  I've  give  'em  the  slip.  Blight  'avc 
'ad  one  o'  them  crooked  knives  in  him  be- 
fore now  but  for  mo  who  give  'em  the  slip 
in  Bull. 

Bill 

W,  11  done,  Albert! 

Do  you  hear  that,  Toffy?  Albert  has 
give    'em  the  slip. 

The  Toff 
Yes,  I  hear. 

Sniggers 
Well,  what  do  you  say  to  that  ? 

The  Toff 
O.  .  .  .  Well  done,  Albert! 

Albert 
And  what  a'  you  going  to  do? 

The  Toff 
Going  to  wait. 

Albert 
Don't  seem  to  know  what    'e's  waiting 
for. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  7 

Sniggers 
It's  a  nasty  place. 

Albert 

It's  getting:  silly,  Bill.  Our  money's 
gone  and  we  want  to  sell  the  ruby.  Let's 
get  on  to  a  town. 

Bill 

But  'e  won't  come. 

Albert 
Then    we'll   leave   him. 

Sniggers 

We'll  be  all  right  if  we  keep  away  from 
Hull. 

Albert 
We'll  go  to  London. 

Bill 
But  'e  must  'ave   'is  share. 

Sniggers 

All  right.  Only  let's  go.  {To  the  Toff) 
We're  going,  do  you  hear?  Give  us  the 
ruby. 


8  A  NIGHT  AT  AX  INN 

The  Toff 
Certainly. 

(Hr    gives    them    a    rubjf    from.   Jiis 
waistcoat  pocket;  it  is  the  size  of 
a  small  hen  's  egg. 
He  goes  on  reading  his  paper.) 

Albert 

Come  on,  Sniggers. 

(Exeunt  Albert  and  Sniggers.) 

Bill 

Good-by,  old  man.  We'll  give  you  your 
fair  share,  but  there's  nothing  to  do  hero — 
no  girls,  no  halls,  and  we  must  sell  the 
ruby. 

The  Toff 

I'm  not  a  fool,  Bill. 

Bill 

No,  no,  of  course  not.  Of  course  you 
ain't,  and  you've  helped  us  a  lot.  Good- 
by.     You'll  say  good-by? 

The  Toff 

Oh,  yes.     Good-hy. 

(Still  reads  his  paper.  Exit  Bill. 
The  Toff  puts  a  revolver  on  the 
tabic  besidi   him  and  goes  on  irith 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  9 

his  papers.  After  a  moment  the 
three  men  eome  rushing  in  again, 
frightened.) 

Sniggers 

(Out  of  breath.) 
We've  come  back,  Toffy. 

The  Toff 
So  you  have. 

Albert 
Toffy.  .  .  .  How  did  they  get  here? 

The  Toff 
They  walked,  of  course. 

Albert 
But  it's  eighty  miles. 

Sniggers 
Did  you  know  they  were  here,   Toffy? 

The  Toff 
Expected  them  about  now. 

Albert 
Eighty  miles! 

Bill 
Toffy,  old  man  .  .  .  what  are  we  to  do? 


10  A.  NIGHT  AT  AX  INN 

The  Toff 
Aflk  Albert. 

Bill 

If  they  can  do  things  like  this,  there's 
do  one  can  save  us  but  you,  Toffy.  .  .  . 
I  always  knew  you  were  a  clever  nm\  We 
won't  be  fools  any  more.  We'll  obey  you, 
Toffy. 

The  Toff 

You're  brave  enough  and  strong  enough. 
There  isn't  many  that  would  steal  a  ruby 
eye  out  of  an  idol's  head,  and  such  an 
idol  as  that  was  to  look  at,  and  on  such  a 
night.  You're  brave  enough,  Bill.  But 
you're  all  three  of  you  fools.  Jim  would 
have  none  of  my  plans,  and  where 's  Jim? 
fc.\nd  George.     What  did  they  do  to  him? 

Sniggers 
Don't,  Toffy! 

The  Toff 

Well,  then,  your  strength  is  no  use  to 
yon.  You  want  cleverness;  or  they'll  have 
you  the  way  they  had  George  and  Jim. 

All 
Ugh! 


A  XIGIIT  AT  AN  INN  11 

The  Toff 

Those  black  priests  would  follow  you 
round  the  world  in  circles.  Year  after 
year,  till  they  got  the  idol's  rye.  And  if 
we  died  with  it,  they'd  follow  our  grand- 
children. That  fool  thinks  he  can  escape 
from  men  like  that  by  running  round  three 
streets  in  the  town  of  Hull. 

Albert 

God's  truth,  you  'aven't  escaped  them, 
because   they  're    'ere. 

The  Toff 
So  I  supposed. 

Albert 
You  supposed! 

The  Toff 

Yes,  I  believe  there's  no  announcement 
in  the  Society  papers.  But  I  took  this 
country  seat  especially  to  receive  them. 
There's  plenty  of  room  if  you  dig,  it  is 
pleasantly  situated,  and,  what  is  more  im- 
portant, it  is  in  a  very  quiet  neighbor- 
hood. So  I  am  at  home  to  them  this 
afternoon. 

Bill 

"Well,  you're  a  deep  one. 


12  A   NIGHT  AT  AX  INN 

The  Toff 

And  remember,  you've  only  my  wits  be- 
tween you  and  death,  and  don't  put  your 
futile  plans  against  those  of  an  educated 

gentleman. 

Albert 

If  you're  a  gentleman,  why  don't  you  go 
about  among  gentlemen  instead  of  the  likes 
of  us? 

The  Toff 

Because  T  was  too  clever  for  them  as  I 
am  too  clever  for  you. 

Albert 
Too  clever  for  them? 

The  Toff 
I  never  lost  a  game  of  cards  in  my  life. 

Bill 
You  never  lost  a  game! 

The  Toff 

Not   when  there  was  money  in  it. 

Bill 
Well,  well' 

Tin:  Toff 

Have  a  game  of  poker  1 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  I XX  13 

All 
No,  thanks. 

The  Toff 
Then  do  as  you're  told. 

Bill 
All  right,  Toffy. 

Sniggers 

I  saw  something  just  then.  Hadn't  we 
better  draw  the  curtains? 

The  Toff 
No. 

Sniggers 
What? 

The  Toff 
Don't  draw  the  curtains. 

Sniggers 
0,  all  right. 

Bill 

But,  Toffy,  they  can  see  us.  One  doesn't 
let  the  enemy  do  that.  I  don't  see 
why.  .  .  . 

The  Toff 

No,  of  course  you  don't. 


14  A   NIGHT  AT  AX  I XX 

Bill 
0,  all  right,  Toffy. 

(-4//  begin  to  pull  out  revolvers.) 

The  Toff 

(Putting  his  own  away.) 
No  revolvers,  please. 

Albert 
Why  not? 

The  Toff 

Because  I  don't  want  any  noise  at  my 

party.     We  might  get  guests  that  hadn't 

\  been  invited.  Knives  are  a  different  matter. 

(All  draw  knives.     The  Toil  signs  to 

them  not  to  draw  th<  m  yt  t.    Toffy 

has  already  taken  back  his  ruby.) 

Bill 
I  think  they're  coming,  Toffy. 

The  Toff 
Not  yet. 

Albert 
When  will  they  come? 

The  Toff 
\      When  I  am  quite  ready  to  receive  them. 
1  Not  before. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  15 

Sniggers 
I  should  like  to  get  this  over. 

The  Toff 
Should  you  ?    Then  we  '11  have  them  now. 

Sniggers 
Now? 

The  Toff 

Yes.  Listen  to  me.  You  shall  do  as  you 
see  me  do.  You  will  all  pretend  to  go  out. 
I'll  show  you  how.  I've  got  the  ruby. 
When  they  see  me  alone  they  will  come 
for  their  idol's  eye. 

Bill 
How  can  they  tell  like  this  which  of  us 
has  it? 

The  Toff 
I  confess  I  don 't  know,  but  they  seem  to. 

Sniggers 
What  will  you  do  when  they  come  in? 

The  Toff 
I  shall  do  nothing. 

Sniggers 
What? 


16  A  XIGHT  AT  AX   1XX 

The  Toff 

They  will  creep  up  behind  me.  Then, 
ray  friends.  Sniggers  and  Bill  and  Albert, 
who  gave  them  the  dip,  will  do  what  they 
can. 

Bill 

All  right,  Toffy.     Trust  us. 

The  Toff 
If    you're    a    little    slow,    you    will    see 
enacted  the  cheerful  spectacle  that  accom- 
panied the  demise  of  Jim. 

Sniggers 
Don't,  Toffy.     We'll  be  there,  all  right. 

The  Toff 
Very  well.    Now  watch  me. 

{He  goes  past  the  windows  to  the 
inner  door  R.  He  o-pens  it  in- 
ivards,  then  under  cover  of  the 
open  door,  he  slips  down  on  his 
knee  and  closes  it,  remaining  on 
the  inside,  appearing  to  have  gone 
out.  1I<  signs  to  the  others,  who 
understand.  Then  hi  aj>p<<irs  to 
re-enter  in  the  same  manner.) 

The  Toff 
Now,   T   shall  sit   with   my   back   to   the 
door.     You  go  out  one  by  one,  so  far  as 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  17 

our  friends  can  make  out.  Crouch  very 
low  to  be  on  the  safe  side.  They  mustn't 
see  you  through  the  window. 

(Bill  makes  his  sham  exit.) 

The  Tofp 

Remember,  no  revolvers.  The  police  are, 
I  believe,  proverbially  inquisitive. 

(The  other  two  follow  Bill.  All 
three  are  now  crouching  inside 
the  door  R.  The  Toff  puts  the 
ruby  beside  him  on  the  table:  He 
lights  a  cigarette.) 

(The  door  at  the  back  opens  so 
slowly  that  you  can  hardly  say 
at  what  moment  it  began.  The 
Toff  picks  up  his  paper.) 

(A  native  of  India  wriggles  along 
the  floor  ever  so  slowly,  seeking 
cover  from  chairs.  He  moves  L. 
where  the  Toff  is.  The  three 
sailors  are  B.  Sniggers  and  Al- 
bert lean  forward.  Bill's  arm 
keeps  them  back.  An  arm-chair 
had  better  conceal  them  from  the 
Indian.  The  black  Priest  nears 
the  Toff.  Bill  watches  to  see  if 
any  more  are  coming.  Then  he 
leaps  forward  alone — he  has  taken 
his  boots  off — and  knifes  the 
Priest. ) 


18  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

(The  Priest  tries  to  shout  but  Bill's 
left  h and  is  our  his  mouth.) 

(The  Toff  continues  to  read  his 
sporting  paper.  He  never  looks 
around,) 

Bill 

(Sotto  voce.) 
There's  only  one,  Toffy.    What  shall  we 
do? 

The  Toff 

(Without  turning  his  head.) 
Only  one? 

Bill 
Yes. 

The  Toff 

Wait  a  moment.  Let  me  think.  (Still 
apparently  absorbed  in  his  paper.)  Ah, 
yes.  You  go  back,  Bill.  We  must  attract 
another  guest.  .  .  .  Now,  are  you  ready? 

Bill 
Yes. 

The  Toff 

All  right  You  shall  now  see  my  demise 
at  my  Yorkshire  residence.  You  must 
receive  guests  for  ma 

(He  leaps  up  in  full  view  of  the 
window,  flings  up  both  arms  and 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  19 

falls  to  the  floor   mar   the   dead 
Priest.) 
Now,  be  ready.     (II is  eyes  close.) 

(There  is  a  long  pause.  Again  the 
door  opens,  very,  very  slowly. 
Another  priest  creeps  in.  He  has 
three  golden  spots  upon  his  fore- 
head. He  looks  round,  then  he 
creeps  up  to  his  companion  and 
turns  him  over  and  looks  insi<I< 
of  his  clenched  hands.  Then  he 
looks  at  the  recumbent  Toff.  Then 
he  creeps  toward  him.  Bill  slips 
after  him  and  knifes  him  like  the 
other  with  his  left  hand  over  his 
mouth.) 

Bill 

(Sotto  voce.) 
We've  only  got  two,  Toffy. 

The  Toff 
Still  another. 

Bill 
What '11  we  do? 

The  Toff 

(Sitting  up.) 
Hum. 

Bill 

This  is  the  best  way,  much. 


20  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  I  NX 

The  Toff 
Out  of  the   question.      Never   play  the 
Bame  game  twice. 

Bill 
Why   not.    Toffy? 

The  Toff 
Doesn't  work  if  you  do. 

Bill 
Well? 

The  Toff 
I  have  it,  Albert.     You  will  now  walk 
into  the  room.    I  showed  you  how  to  do  it. 

Albert 
Yes. 

The  Toff 
Just  run  over  here  and  have  a  fight  at 
this   window   with   these   two   men. 

Albert 
But  they're  .  .  . 

The  Toff 
Yes.   they're  dead,   my   perspicuous   Al- 
bert.     But    Bill   and    I    are    going   to   re- 
Buscitate  them.  .  .  .  Come  on. 

(Bill  picks  up  a  body  under  the 
arms.) 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  21 

The  Toff 

That's   right,   Bill.      (Docs   the   same. 

Come  and  help  us,  Sniggers.  .  .  .  (Snig- 
gers comes.)  Keep  low,  keep  low.  Wave 
their  arms  about.  Sniggers.  Don't  show 
yourself.  Now,  Albert,  over  you  go.  Our 
Albert  is  slain.  Baek  you  get.  Bill.  Back, 
Sniggers.  Still,  Albert.  Mustn't  move 
when  he  comes.    Not  a  muscle. 

(A  face  appears  at  the  window  and 
stays  for  some  time.  Then  the 
door  opens  and,  looking  craftily 
round,  the  third  Priest  enters. 
He  looks  at  his  companions' 
bodies  and  turns  round.  He  sus- 
pects something.  He  takes  up  one 
of  the  knives  and  with  a  knife 
in  each  hand  he  puts  his  back  to 
the  wall.  He  looks  to  the  left  and 
right.) 

The  Toff 

Come  on,  Bill. 

{The  Priest  rushes  to  the  door.  The 
Toff  knifes  the  last  Priest  from 
behind.) 

The  Toff 
A  good  day's  work,  my  friends. 


22  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

Bill 

Well  done,  Toffy.  Oh,  you  are  a  deep 
onel 

Albert 
A  deep  one  if  ever  there  was  one. 

Sniggers 
There  ain't  any  more,  Bill,  are  there! 

The  Toff 
No  more  in  the  world,  my  friend. 

Bill 

Aye,  that's  all  there  are.  There  were 
only  three  in  the  temple.  Three  priests 
and  their  beastly  idol. 

Albert 

What  is  it  worth,  Toffy?  Is  it  worth  a 
thousand   pounds? 

The  Toff 

It's  worth  all  they've  got  in  the  shop. 
"Worth  just  whatever  we  like  to  ask  for  it. 

Albert 
Then    we're   millionaires   now. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  23 

The  Toff 

Yes,  and,  what  is  more  important,  we 
no  longer  have  any  heirs. 

Bill 
We'll  have  to  sell  it  now. 

•  Albert 

That  won't  be  easy.  It's  a  pity  it  isn't 
small  and  we  had  half  a  dozen.  Hadn't 
the  idol  any  other  on  him? 

Bill 

No,  he  was  green  jade  all  over  and  only 
had  this  one  eye.    He  had  it  in  the  middle 
of  his  forehead  and  was  a  long  sight  uglier  , 
than  anything  else  in  the  world. 

Sniggers 
I'm  sure  we  ought  all  to  be  very  grate- 
ful to  Toffy. 

Bill 
And,  indeed,  we  ought. 

Albert 
If  it  hadn't  been  for  him.  .  .  . 

Bill 
Yes,  if  it  hadn't  been  for  old  Toffy.  .  .  , 


24  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

Sniggers 
He's  a  deep  one 

The  Toff 

Well,  you  see  I  just   have   a  knack   of 
foreseeing  things. 

Sniggers 
I  should  think  you  did. 

Bill 

Why,  I  don't  suppose  anything  happens 
S\\nv  that   our   Toff   doesn't    foresee.     Does   it, 

v<<  ,VU^\     Toffy? 
^>\^<^*^  The  Toff 

Well,  I  don't  think  it  does,  Bill.    I  don't 
think  it  often  does. 

Bill 

Life   is   no   more   than   just    a   game   of 
sards  to  our  old  Toff. 

The  Toff 
Well,  we've  taken  these  follows'  trick. 

Sniggeks 

ing  to  window.) 

It  wouldn't  do  for  any  one  to  Bee  them. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  25 

The  Toff 
Oh,  nobody  will  come  this  way.     We're 
all  alone  on  a  moor. 

Bill 
Where  will  we  put  them? 

The  Toff 
Bury  them  in  the  cellar,  but  there's  no 
hurry. 

Bill 
And  what  then,  Toffy? 

The  Toff 
Why,  then  we'll  go  to  London  and  up- 
set  the   ruby   business.     We   have   really 
come  through  this  job  very  nicely. 

Bill 
I  think  the  first  thing  that  we  ought  to 
do  is  to  give  a  little  supper  to  old  Toffy. 
We'll  bury  these  fellows  to-night. 

Albert 
Yes,  let's. 

Sniggers 
The  very  thing! 

Bill 

And  we'll  all  drink  his  health. 


26  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

Albert 

Good  old  Toffy! 

Sniggers 

He  ought  to  have  been  a  general  or  a 
premier. 

[They   fj(t    hottlrs   from    cupboard, 

{  tr.  i 

The  Toff 
Well,  we've  earned  our  bit  of  a  supper. 
(They  sit  down.) 

Bn,L 

(Glass  in  hand.) 
I    Here's  to  old  Toffv,  who  guessed  every- 
thing! 

Albert 
Sniggers 
Good  old  Toffy! 

Bill 

Toffy,  who  saved  our  lives  and  made  our 
fortunes. 

Albert 
Sniggers 
Hear !    Hear ! 

The  Toff 
And  here's  to  Bill,  who  saved  me  twiee 
to-night 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  27 

Bill 

Couldn't    have    done    it    but    for    your 
cleverness,  Toffy. 

Sniggers 
Hear,  hear!    Hear!    Hear! 


(,„ 


Albert 
He  foresees  everything. 

Bill 

A  speech,  Toffy.  A  speech  from  our 
general. 

All 
Yes,  a  speech. 

r*""--  Sniggers 

I  A  speech. 

^-  The  Toff 

Well,  get  me  some  water.  This  whiskey's 
too  much  for  my  head,  and  I  must  keep  it 
clear  till  our  friends  are  safe  in  the  cellar. 

Bill 

Water?  Yes,  of  course.  Get  him  some 
water.  Sniggers. 

Sniggers 
"We  don't  use  water  here.     Where  shall 
I  get  it? 


28  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

Hill 

Outride    in    the    garden. 
(Exit  Sniggers.) 

Albert 
Here's  to  future! 

Bitj, 
Here's  to  Albert  Thomas.   Esquire. 

Albert 

And   William   Jones,    Esquire. 
(Re-enter  Sniggers,  terrified.) 

The  Toff 

Hullo,  here's  Jacob  Smith,  Esquire,  #. 
■P.,  alias  Sniggers,  back  again. 

Sniggers 
Toffy,  I've  been  thinking  about  my  share 
in  that  ruby.     I  don't   want   it.   Toffy;  I 
don't  want  it. 

The  Toff 
Nonsense,  Sniggers.     Nonsense. 

Sniggers 

You  shall  have  it.  Toffy,  you  shall  have 
it  yourself,  only  Bay  Sniggers  has  no  share 
in  this    'ere   ruby.     Say   it.   Toffy,   say   it! 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN  29 

Bill 
Want  to  turn  informer,   Sniggers? 

Sniggers 

No,  no.  Onlv  I  don't  want  the  ruby, 
Toffy.  .  .  . 

The  Toff 

No  more  nonsense.  Sniggers.  We're  all 
in  together  in  this.  If  one  hangs,  we  all 
hang;  but  they  won't  outwit  me.  Besides, 
it's  not  a  hanging  affair,  they  had  their 
knives. 

Sniggers 

Toffy,  Toffy,  I  always  treated  you  fair, 
Toffy.  I  was  always  one  to  say,  Give  Toffy 
a  ehance.     Take  back  my  share.  Toffy. 

The  Toff 

What 's  the  matter  ?  What  are  you  driv- 
ing at  ? 

Sniggers 
Take  it  back,  Toffy. 

The  Toff 
Answer  me,  what  are  you  up  toT 

Sniggers 
I  don't  want  my  share  any  more. 


30 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN  I\'\ 


Bill 

Have    you    seen    the    police  I 

(Albert  pulls  out  his  knife.) 

The  Toff 
No,  no  knives,   Albert. 

Albert 

What  then? 

The  Toff 

The  honest  truth  in  open  court,  barring 
the  ruby.     We  were  attacked. 

Sniggers 
There's  no  police. 

The  Toff 
Well,  then,  what's  the  matter? 

Bill 
Out  with   it. 

Sniggers 
I  swear  to  God.  .  .  . 

Albert 
Weill 

The  Toff 
Don't   interrupt. 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN   I XX  31 

Sniggeks 

I  swear  I  saw  something  what  I  didn't 
like. 

The  Toff 
What  you  didn't  like? 

Sniggers 
(In  tears.) 
0  Toffy,  Toffy,  take  it  back.     Take  my 
share.     Say  you  take  it. 

The  Toff 
What  has  he  seen? 

(Dead  silence,  only  broken  by  Snig 
gers's  sobs.  Then  steps  arc  heard. 
Enter  a  hideous  idol.  It  is  blind 
and  gropes  its  way.  It  gropes  its 
way  to  the  ruby  and  picks  it  up 
and  screws  it  into  a  socket  in 
the  forehead.  Sniggers  still  weeps 
softly,  the  rest  stare  in  horror. 
The  idol  steps  out,  not  groping. 
Its  steps  move  off,  then  stop.) 

The  Toff 
0,  great  heavens! 

Albert 

(In  a  childish,  plaintive  voice.) 
What  is  it,  Toffy? 


32  A  NIGHT  AT  AN  INN 

Bill 

Albert,    it    is   that    obscene    idol    (in   a 
whisper)    come    from    India. 

Albert 
It  is  gone. 

Bill 
It  has  taken  its  eye. 

Sniggers 
We  are  saved. 

A  Voice  Off 

(With  outlandish  accent.) 
Meestaire  William  Jones,  Able  Seaman. 
(The  Toff  has  never  spoken,  never 

moved.    lie  only  gazes  stupidly  in 

horror. ) 

Bill 

Albert,  Albert,  what  is  this! 

(He  ruses  and  walks  out.  One  moan 
is  heard.  Sniggers  goes  to  the 
window.     lie  falls   back   sickly.  > 

Albert 

(In  a  whisper.) 
What  lias  happened) 


A  NIGHT  AT  AN   I  NX  39 

Sniggers 

I   have  seen   it.     I   have  seen  it.     0,   I 
have  seen  it! 

(He  returns  to  table.) 

The  Toff 

(Laying  his   hand   very  gently  on 
Sniggers' s    arm,    speaking    softly 
and  ivinningly.) 
What  was  it,  Sniggers? 

Sniggers 
I  have  seen  it. 

Albert 
What? 

Sniggers 
0! 

Voice 
Meestaire  Albert  Thomas,  Able  Seaman. 

Albert 
Must  I  go.  Toffy?    Toffy,  must  I  go? 

Sniggers 

(Clutching  him.) 
Don't  move. 


34  A  NIGHT  AT  AX  INN 

Albert 
mg.  I 

Toffy,  Toffy.       Exit.) 

Voice 

Meestaire  Jacob  Smith,  Able  Seaman. 

Sniggers 

T  can't  po.  Toffy.     I  can't  go.     I  can't 
do  it. 

{He  goes.) 

Voice 

Meestaire     Arnold     Everett    Scott-For- 
tescue,  late  Esquire,  Able  Seaman. 

The  Toff 

I  did  not  foresee  it. 
(Exit) 

CURTAIN 


-^> 

-*T 

d. 

>ix 

>\ 

-fc/ 

r  • 

-  rti. 

MHBM 


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